Hold onto me
by kingstar
Summary: "Brenda you always think you can help everyone, well you can't help me."
1. Note

Hello, before starting this story I wanted to say Luke Perry was an amazing soul. I honestly only knew him from Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie but ever since seeing that movie I loved him and everything about him. When he passed I was shocked because it came out of nowhere. I just saw his face and someone saying my heart hurts and I was like noo. Then I went to see all the news on what happened and I was really sad but I'm glad that he had his family with him while he passed because I know now that his family meant a lot to him and vice versa. So now I'm learning more about him, a shame it had to be after he passed and I wish it wasn't that way but I want to see his work and learn more about him. The year Buffy the Vampire Slayer came out was the year I was born, it took me years from that time to actually watch that movie. Beverly Hills 90210 was on TV before I was born and I dont know exactly the years it was on TV but I remember seeing parts of episodes when I was 7 or 8 and I remembered liking what I saw, tho I don't remember what happened in those parts I saw but I know it was that show because I watched the intro of the show and I saw the words Beverly Hills 90210. Anyways now being 27 I'm watching Beverly Hills 90210 from the beginning and I'm currently on season 3 and I fell in love with this show, my favorite characters are Brenda and Dylan, I like all the characters pretty fairly the same, some less than others but my most focus is Brenda and Dylan. So once season 4 ends I plan on not watching it anymore but I will watch the last episode Dylan is in on season 6, because of my ship and so many people leave and the show will change so much and I don't really think I'll like how different it ends up being but anyways I just wanted to say some words on Luke Perry because he's such a sweet human being and I just wanted to talk about him and how amazing he is.

I just had to add look at that man he looks the same from young to old. I really dont like the word old but I didn't know another word. What a man in every sense!


	2. one

**Hi, I just wanted to clarify that this story will be mostly my version of how I wanted the Brenda and Dylan dynamic to go, so there will be similar things to the show but also a lot of original ideas I came up with. I just started the story a little after the Walshes moved to California, after Brandon already met Dylan but this is when Brenda really meets Dylan. I hope everyone likes it.**

"Brenda hurry up!" Brandon yelled from downstairs.

I finished the last touch to my hair and made my way downstairs.

"You know you don't have to be so urgent." I told Brandon giving him a look.

"Yes Brenda, I do or else we would be late for the movie or would you rather not go, I can leave." Brandon says as he goes for the door.

I grab him by the arm loosely and pull him back, smiling. My brother is a character.

Our parents join us by the door to see us off.

"Have fun you two." Mom tells us smiling.

On the other hand Dad doesn't look that happy.

"Be careful, and be back as soon as the movie is over." Dad warns.

I roll my eyes to Brandon.

"I saw that I'm serious Brenda I don't want you out late."

He doesn't want me out late, Brandon being a guy has more privilege. Even though I know the real reason he doesn't want me home late is because Dylan is going with us. It still upsets me that Brandon has more freedom.

"Okay Dad were leaving now." I say and Brandon holds open the door for me and I'm finally away from him.

When the front door of the house is closed I turn to Brandon.

"Why does Dylan have to go?"

"Because he wants to see the movie Bren, that's how it works." he answers and I don't typically like the sarcasm.

"Can't he see it with you another time?" I ask getting into his car now. Our car. I hate even claiming such monstrosity.

Brandon gets in on the driver side and gives me a look.

"Brenda what's your problem with Dylan?" he waits for the answer.

"Nothing, I've just heard he isn't all that great." I look out the window to avoid Brandon's glare.

He starts the car.

"You know Bren, you're not being fair you know how it's like having people assume about you." he states clearly and correctly.

I do know how that feels but I don't want to be involved with Dylan if I don't have to be. Everyone will start talking about me again and I'm not sure they've completely stopped.

I didn't talk anymore on the matter because we both knew he was right. So I decided silently to give Dylan a chance of proving the rumors wrong. For tonight.

I had no idea what to expect, this was my first real time meeting him. I've seen him around in the hallways but never spoken to him. Brandon got close to him but he has yet come to our house so maybe they are not that close.

We arrive just in time with time to get popcorn.

Brandon gives me the money to buy our tickets while he looks around for Dylan.

The line is not long only two people in front of me.

After I pay for the tickets Brandon joins me at the entrance. With no Dylan.

"Where's Dylan?" I ask.

Brandon takes another look around for him before answering.

"I couldn't find him." he admits.

"Brandon, I don't want to miss the movie due to your friends' carelessness." I scold.

Were being stood up by Dylan McKay, lovely.

"Look Brenda just go inside buy the popcorn and I'll meet you in there. I'm sure he just got into traffic or something."

"Or something." I mutter knowing Brandon would hear me. He gives me a look while giving me the money for the popcorn.

I go inside and wait in line. I cant believe that guy. Does he not care that we'll miss the movie waiting on him? And he wants to see this movie. Sure.

"Thank you." I tell the lady as she hands me the popcorn.

I see Brandon come in and I go to him. Still no Dylan.

"Bren, just go in the movie I'm gonna wait for him out here in the lobby."

"But you'll miss the beginning of the movie."

"But you wont just go." he insists.

I roll my eyes as I walk away. This is unbelievable, I try to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and he flakes. Doesn't have a care in the world that my brother is wasting time and money on waiting for him.

I get inside the auditorium and go to the top. I sit the popcorn on one side of me and my purse of the other side.

Thinking about it I shouldn't even save him a seat as to he probably wont be joining us. But I leave my purse there anyway.

The movie starts and it's intense at the start already. Like most movies are. I grab handfuls of popcorn intrigued by the movie when a shadow of a body walks in front of my vision.

I look at the person and its Brandon. He sits to my right.

"He didn't show huh?" I smirk.

Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and I look over and Dylan is smiling more like smirking while handing me my purse.

"This is yours I believe?" he says, and I feel like an idiot knowing he heard me.

I grab my purse from him smiling. "Thank you."

I can't make out his features being in darkness, the only light coming from the big screen.

He sits down and Brandon places the popcorn in my lap.

I refocus on the movie again since I was rudely interrupted.

After about a few minutes Dylan grabs a handful of popcorn making a mess in the process. Annoying me also. I keep quiet but it's very hard.

Throughout the movie Dylan proceeds to annoy me, if not with the popcorn it's with loud commentary on the film.

At school he seems a quiet, to himself guy he must have different personalities outside of school. I don't really care for this personality.

Finally the movies is over and so is my torture. Or so I thought.

When we make it out of the auditorium Dylan turns to me suddenly.

"Nice to meet you by the way. The names' Dylan." He says a little too close to my face and personal space.

I smell alcohol in his breath as he introduces himself. Incredible he's drunk this explains why he's such a pain.

"Can't say the same but my name is Brenda. And you're drunk." I say covering my nose in disgust. I hate the smell of alcohol in someone's breath.

Dylan's expression changes.

"I'm not drunk, tipsy maybe." he clarifies glaring at me now but it's all the same to me.

"Are you serious man? Why did you drink? Aren't you trying to stop?" Brandon chimes in, a look of disappointment in his face.

"My dad was pissing me off." Dylan answers simply.

That was when I had enough.

"I can't believe my brother missed the beginning of the movie for this." I say implying to Dylan's drinking.

"You don't even know me." Dylan informs me he's face to face with me now.

"Well what I know now is enough." I say looking him in the eyes with the same glare.

"Come on guys relax." Brandon says standing next to us.

"I didn't know your sister was such... like all the others." he finishes instead. Never leaving my eyes. I know what he wanted to say when he paused.

"Brandon!" I say facing Brandon now. My voice a few octaves higher than before.

"Brenda just stop talking." Brandon tells me.

Is he really taking this guys side over me? His twin?

"No I will not stop talking Brandon. Are you really not going to tell him anything for almost calling me a bitch?" I ask of Brandon incredulously.

"Brenda he didn't say it, he's not in his right mind right now and you're not helping with your judgements." he tells me.

"I'm out of here, I don't need this." Dylan says and he almost stumbles to the exit.

"I can't let him drive like that." Brandon say and then turns to me.

"You know you really don't know him or his life, I thought you would give him a chance." Brandon tells me before going after Dylan leaving me with my thoughts.

His words sink in and I felt a little bad for saying anything. I was worried about him, I didn't want him to drive like that either.

I ran to the exit to follow Brandon. When I got to Brandon he looked worried.

"Great Bren, you had to set him off you couldn't be nice." Brandon says running a hand through his hair.

"Look I'm sorry but he wasn't being nice either." I respond, why was all this my fault?

"Well he drove off Brenda and he's mad that's not a good sign." Brandon advises me.

"Well let's try to find him." I say feeling worried and guilty. I didn't know all this was gonna happen.

"There's no use no telling where he went. Let's just go home, I just hope he makes it home fine." Brandon says and we walk to the car.

I hope he makes it home safe too.


	3. impressions

**This story is somewhat like the show, meaning it has the same friendships etc but I will be adding details that are not in the show at all, so keep that in mind while reading.**

All Sunday I thought about how unfair I was to Dylan, although I didn't like his behavior I knew my behavior was poor as well. Brandon was right when we first moved here people talked, assumed things about us without getting to know us at first. When I became friends with Kelly and Donna, people gave me looks when I walked down the hallways with them. I still don't know what they think about me, I just remember hearing one time in a bathroom stall some girls talking about me.

"You know who that new girl starting hanging out with right?"

"Yeah the school slut and the blonde bimbo. She thinks she's so cool now."

Ever since hearing that, I wondered why people thought that about Kelly and Donna, they were nice to me. I did feel like I fitted in more hanging with them, otherwise I would feel like a loner. Brandon told me that day that people assume things about everyone before getting to know them first and that I should never listen to what people say about someone, that I should get to know that person for myself first.

Monday morning came and I was not ready for another week. However I was excited to see my new friends Kelly and Donna.

At breakfast that morning Brandon didn't speak to me at all. He was still mad about Saturday I figured. I said I was sorry what more did he want? And how come Dylan got a free pass to act like an asshole?

I decided against trying to speak to him seeing we may get into an unnecessary argument about Dylan and I wouldn't have Brandon taking Dylan's side anymore on the matter. I knew I had to apologize to Dylan today even though he was in the wrong too, I would be the bigger person in this situation.

"What's up with you two?" Mom asked us when we finished our breakfast without speaking to each other.

"It's nothing mom," Brandon lied, I gave him a look but looked at mom and smiled.

"Yeah mom, were fine."

She looked between the both of us knowing full well we were lying but she let it go with a smile.

"Okay, work it out whatever you two have going on."

We both hugged our parents goodbye and were off to school. The way to school was super quiet and awkward but I bared through it to not fight with Brandon, I was lucky he didn't make me walk. I made a mental note to talk to him later, this conversation needed to be discussed.

At school I headed over to Kelly and Donna, they were laughing about something.

"What's funny?" I asked ready to laugh.

"Did you see that girls hair?" Donna laughed looking at a girl a little away from us. The girl's hair was a disaster, she was definitely having a bad hair day.

"Oh." I half smiled. I guess everyone talks about everyone? I wouldn't speak on my disappointment, they were my friends. I needed friends to survive here.

"Anyways let's get to class," Kelly spoke up which I was thankful for that we weren't laughing about the girl's poor bad hair day anymore.

Me and Kelly had first period together so we waved to Donna before walking away to our classroom.

"So Steve would not stop calling me all weekend," Kelly turned to me.

"It's so obvious that he wants you back." I told her giggling.

Kelly and Steve dated before I moved here, Kelly dumped him over the summer and he's still very much in pain over it.

The teacher cut our conversation short by coming over to our desks. "Do you two want to tell everyone what's funny?"

Needless to say we stayed quiet the rest of the class.

Next period I was informed to go to the office. I was nervous that I was in trouble for something, you hear office you think trouble. I waited in the lobby of the office wondering what I could be called here for.

"Brenda Walsh, you may come in." The principal announced to me, then held the door open for me to walk in.

As I sat down in front of the desk the principal did the same in front of me.

"Don't worry Brenda you're in no kind of trouble, were just letting you know that your schedule has been changed. Your third period will now be in Mr. Smith's American History class. Here's your new schedule, we only changed third period." She informed me nicely.

"Thank you." I told her with a smile.

"If you need help getting to the class we can have someone get you there." She told me.

"That's okay I know around what area this class is thank you." I let her know.

She let me leave back to class but the bell rang on my way there so I would be going to my new class now. I was thankful I brought my stuff with me. I saw Donna in the hall so I walked over to her.

"Hey Brenda." Donna greeted me when she saw me.

"Hey Donna, they changed my third period do you know where this class is?" I asked her handing her my schedule paper.

She skimmed through it and nodded.

"It's right over here." She said and we walked a few classrooms down from where we were and she stopped at the door to my third period class.

"Thanks Donna." I smiled and the bell rang again.

"No problem, catch you later." We waved bye then I walked inside my classroom and took a seat in a empty seat close to the back.

What I wasn't expecting was to see Dylan walk into the class. He took a seat at the back, typical.

The class began and I took a glance towards him, he was writing something in his notebook. I never really noticed how cute he was. His hair gelled, and his smile that he now wore on his features really captivated me. Then he looked up and met my eyes, my head flew back towards to the front of the class. I felt so embarrassed for getting caught looking at him. I made sure to not look at him again all through third period.

The rest of the day was like any normal day. By lunchtime Kelly, Donna and I went to the cafeteria to eat.

"Thank the heavens it's pizza day, Brenda tomorrow were eating subway or something. I can't stand this horrendous food." Kelly informed us.

I laughed and agreed to going out for lunch tomorrow. After we finished eating we headed to the library to pass time until the next class.

"What were you up to this weekend Donna?" Kelly asked as we sat at a table far from the books. We didn't want to get told to be quiet again.

Donna told us that she went shopping with her mom. I noticed since meeting these two, that they both love to go shopping. I was enjoying it too, but I didn't like it as much as they did. Seemed to me shopping was a routine for them.

"How about you Brenda what did you do?" Donna asked.

"I went to the movies with my brother and his friend Dylan."

"Dylan McKay?" Kelly perked up after hearing his name.

"Yeah, it wasn't a fun time." I mentioned.

"Why what happened?" Donna asked intrigued.

"Well.." I started.

I started by saying how he was late and my brother missed the beginning of the movie. Then told them how disrespectful he was being.

"All because he was drunk, but he 'wanted' to see the movie." I emphasized the wanted with airquotes.

Kelly and Donna laughed at this.

"I guess what people say about him is true. He's just a alcoholic waste of space." I added.

"Speaking of McKay what's he doing in a library?" Kelly said making my insides fall. He was by the bookshelves picking out a book, those eyes. I never really paid much attention to him before Saturday but now looking at him I see why the girls flock to him. He's very cute.

After getting his book he went to check it out at the desk, I saw that he didn't look quite happy. That's when I knew he must've heard our conversation about him. I mentally hit my head, great going Brenda.

"That's weird you don't see guys like Dylan in a library." Donna said quite frankly, like everyone knew him. That was the problem no one knows Dylan. Not even me, like he said and here I was judging him based off one night at the movies.

I had to go apologize right now, I was waiting until I saw him to apologize well now I've gone and made things worse.

Without a word to Kelly or Donna I got up from my seat and followed Dylan out the library. He had a head start since I was still in shock for a moment realizing he heard me.

"Dylan!" I called to him.

He didn't turn around only kept walking.

"Brenda you don't want to be talking to a waste of space," he put a hand in the air as he kept walking.

"Dylan I'm sorry!" I yelled to him but the door to the classroom slammed shut.


	4. wrong way

**I will be going into Dylan's pov often so just a heads up. I may have Dylan's life wrong but just go with it. I know Dylan met Brandon at school but this story is gonna be different in how people met each other etc. This chapter takes place a day after the Walsh twins move to Beverly Hills.**

—-

_**The day Dylan met Brandon.**_

_There are only three things in life that truly matter to me: family, trust and connection. Jack has lost all these things with me, where is he right now? Out at a bar with some "co-workers". He's not family, I definitely don't trust him, and our connection has been gone since I turned 13. When I truly felt alone, I started to see a change in how my 'father' acted with me. He became more angry and drunk. He didn't spend much time with me anymore didn't really care about my whereabouts. He left me alone in this damn hotel suite to fend for myself, would occasionally check in from time to time because I was only 13. The hotel employees cared for me more than he did, made sure I was fed and kept me company at times. That should have been him._

_By 15 I was a loner, I learned how to do everything on my own. I wouldn't depend on nobody, they'd only let me down later in life. Don't need to go through that pain again. My mother left when I was 10 so I don't know much about her life except she didn't want to be a mother anymore._

_I'm 16 now and not much has changed except I got a new habit. It's called liquor._

_Another night, another bottle. More like 3 bottles, about to drink my 4th one. Need to get to that numb feeling so I can stop thinking about stuff that doesn't matter anymore._

_A knock on my door fills my ears._

_"Dylan let me in," It's Jack._

_"Go away!" I yell from the couch, not bothering to get up._

_"I left my cardkey at the bar."_

_"So go get a new one."_

_"Just open the fucking door now!" This time he banged louder on the door, seemingly it doesn't intimidate me._

_I took another swig of my bottle unfazed. He can't get in without a cardkey so he can't do anything to me. Silence soon filled the room, he's gone. Good._

_I walked out of my suite, with cardkey in my pocket. Drunk or not I won't be losing this._

_Wanting some fresh air I take the elevator to the lobby and head for the entrance._

_"Dylan your dad was just here." Graham, the front desk guy says as I walk to the doors._

_"Yeah I know." I say without looking at him._

_Most unimportant things don't even get me to look them in the face._

_I pull out my flask, that was half empty now, since the last time I've used it. Carry this baby with me practically everyday now, the world just keeps getting grayer. Except the ocean, the ocean always stays in some form of blue. That's where I'm happiest, riding the waves._

_I thought of the waves as I walked down the street, it was close to midnight already but there was still population out on the streets._

_With no destination in mind I just kept walking, and drinking._

_The numb feeling was coming and I nourished in it. Let it consume me whole. I began to stumble a little, but I still kept walking._

_After finishing my flask I feel dizzy. I know I'm moments from falling flat on my face, why did I become like my father. I don't want to be an alcoholic but it eases my pain from the abandonment I suffered that I shouldn't have._

_Before my face collides with the concrete beneath me I feel someone help me to my feet. It's definitely a man, seems about the same build as me. I tried to get a look at who helped my face not get smashed, but my vision is blurred._

_"Woah, you shouldn't be out at night like this." I hear him say._

_"Thanks man," I manage to say._

_"No problem, my name is Brandon Walsh. Want me to help you get home?" He asks, and I can only nod. Luckily I didn't get too far from the hotel._

_"Tell me where to go."_

_"Bel Age," I sputter._

_He helps me walk until we get back to the hotel, he doesn't say much. Probably because he knows I wont remember a word he says._

_"Here we are."_

_Were in the lobby and I think I can make it to the room, I'm regaining my vision mostly._

_"Thanks man, nice to meet you my name is Dylan." He listens intently, my voice coming out in pauses._

_"Take it easy, you can make it to your room?" Brandon asks me._

_I nod in response and half smile taking a better look at him in the light. He seemed about my age with blonde hair and blue eyes._

_I turn to go to the elevator once I make it inside I lean against the wall, I have to stop drinking._

_I press the button to my floor and wait for the nauseating feeling my stomach always gets in these damn things. Once it starts, I feel it and I know I'm gonna hurl._

_I grab my cardkey out of my pocket and once the doors to the elevator open to my floor I rush to my room push the cardkey in and hurry inside straight for the bathroom. After letting all my insides flush down the toilet I walk out of the bathroom._

_The next thing I see is my father wearing an angry expression then I blackout._

**Present Day**

The classroom was empty I just needed to get away from her, I wouldn't listen to the bullshit that came out of her mouth. _I'm sorry,_ yeah sure if you were sorry you wouldn't have said that in the first place. The bell sounded and I knew people were soon to come, so I walked out of the classroom glad to not catch sight of her anymore in the hallway and headed for the exit.

That's enough for today, I needed a drink.


	5. fake

_**A month ago.**_

"_We're moving to Beverly Hills California."_

How could they do this to me and Brandon, our whole lives are here in Minnesota. Making new friends is not my strong point. Dropping the news to my friends wasn't easy, I still remember the looks they shared. Ashley was the least happy about my news, and I couldn't understand why. It wasn't like I chose to go live in Beverly Hills.

By the time we were all packed up to leave for California, Ashley managed to turn all my friends against me.

_**When Ashley found out about the move.**_

"_Guys I'm moving to Beverly Hills." I announce to my closest friends, Ashley, Gina, and Sarah._

_Followed by a very awkward silence, excluding the noise from the filled cafeteria of our high school._

"_What? Why?" Gina asked finally._

"_Well my dad got a job offer there and it's better income so it's a no brainer," I throw my fry back onto my lunch tray that laid in front of me._

"_I think it will be awesome you get to be close to the stars." Sarah smiled and I couldn't help but smile back despite how much I would miss everything I knew._

"_This sucks." Gina sighed, I was starting to find it odd that Ashley had yet to say anything about the news. Maybe it was harder on her than the rest of the girls? It can't be harder for her than me though, I hated that we were moving._

"_Ashley are you okay?" I looked over to her, she was taking a bite out of her apple. She paused midchew to avert her eyes to me. "Fine," was all she said._

_If I didn't know any better I would call that rude, was she mad at me for leaving?_

"_Ashley if you're mad about me leaving—," I started to say but she cut me off quickly._

"_I'm not mad, it's fine." She said but anyone could see it was definitely not fine._

_I decided to ignore her and kept on eating._

_The next day though I noticed a slight change in the way my friends started treating me._

"_Hey Gina," I waved over to her._

_A short 'hey' was all that I got back from her. At lunch I couldn't find my friends anywhere and so I had to sit alone. That was the very first time I had ever sat alone at lunch, I felt deserted even with all the people around me. After school didn't go any better I saw Sarah and when I went to go talk to her she took a swift exit out the building. What was going on? Why did it feel like my friends were avoiding me at all costs?_

_The next three days were the same, every time I got even a foot close to any of them they all made a rush to get as far away from me as possible._

_Enough was enough._

_Luckily I got my answers when I went to the bathroom to wash my hands really fast during 5th period. When I looked into the mirror, out came Sarah from one of the stalls. Before she could head straight for the door I jumped in front of her._

"_Sarah please tell me what's going on. You and the girls haven't spoke to me ever since I said I was moving." I pleaded to her._

_She took a big sigh before she met my eyes. "Ashley told us not to talk to you anymore since you're ditching us."_

_What!?_

"_What? I can't believe this. It's not like I want to ditch you guys." What was happening? Was Ashley the leader of our friend group or something? Am I missing something?_

"_Look, I'll still talk to you but please don't tell Ashley she'll kick me out of the group too." Sarah smiled guiltily._

"_Don't do me any favors Sarah." I put it simple. I don't do charity or pity. That's fake, I need real friends. Maybe this move would be good for me. I didn't bother to look at her anymore and I walked out._

_At lunch, I saw Ashley and the girls sitting at a different table so I walked straight over to that table and sat down glaring right at Ashley as I sat in front of her._

"_So Ashley, why is it that you're acting like a bitch all of a sudden?" I asked straight to the point. I'm always straightforward, I never beat around the bush._

_Her green eyes grew wide but then went back to their normal size within a quickness._

"_Brenda, I'm not a bitch. You are leaving us, why waste anymore time with you, you can be on your merrily way to LA." She sneered, I was getting the jealous vibe from her tone and I knew I wasn't mistaken._

_A smile grew onto my face. "You know, you're right I'll be on my merrily way and I won't miss any of you fake ass 'friends'." I glared at each of the girls before landing my glare back onto Ashley as I stood up._

_I turned and went to the nearest trash and threw the rest of my lunch away before exiting the cafeteria. I can't believe I couldn't see how fake Ashley was all this time. To actually think all this time those girls were my close friends._

**Present Day**

An inner groan filled my body as I sat in my class.

After the incident with Dylan I felt like a total bitch, how could I say those things about him without really knowing him. I needed to find him after class and apologize genuinely.

The bell rang and I made a quick start for the door and into the hallway. This school was so big there was no way I was going to find him, especially not knowing what classes he takes or where he would hang around. I only had 5 minutes before my next class was to start, there was no luck in even trying to look for him. Besides surely I was the last person he wanted to see right now.

I headed to class bummed out. I would have to apologize to Dylan later, if I ever see him.


	6. wrong time

**Hi! I know it's been like a week or more since I updated last but I started a new job so I've been stressed with that lately but I'm back! I hope you all like this chapter I was on a roll writing it, I was actually surprised at how many pages it ended up being at the end but I really liked writing this chapter. Also I wanted to let you all know of other story ideas I have for Brenda and Dylan for after I finish this one if any of you would want me to write them?**

**There's 4 of them.**

**10 days of love- Something happens to Dylan and the Walshes are helping him, a clueless Brenda finds out.**

**but you love me- After Toni, Dylan swears off marriage scared that the same fate will happen again. Brenda has always helped Dylan through everything.**

**Beautiful Liar- Dylan must hide the fact that he spent all summer with Kelly while Brenda was in Paris.**

**Unforgivable Mercy- Dylan is in danger and is in need of only one person Brenda.**

**Let me know if I should write any or all of these ideas after I finish this story. :) Sorry now on with the chapter. lol**

**P.s if someone could let me know the bar Dylan went to in season 1 or 2 it was like a bar he always went to to shoot pool. Thanks.**

**Dylan**

Back to the same routine, back to the same bar I always end up at. With the same people always in this place.

Playing pool eased my mind when I got irritated from time to time, been having too many of those days already. Time to chill out and play some pool, forget about West Beverly High and the people enrolled in that abominal place.

The nicotine in my nostrils and smell of booze all around me, that's better than any hairspray, perfume, and mints that I smell everyday at school.

"Hey D, the usual?" Barnie the bartender asks, knowing the answer. I give him a smile. Knowing I'm underaged he never stopped serving me the liquid that I craved so much, even now disregarding the fact that I'm in no shape to be drinking this early in the day. Barnie knew when to shut it down for me, if I was getting too gone he would tell me to get on back to the Bel Age.

He slides over the glass of whiskey and I down it fast, my throat on fire as it goes down.

"Rough day already?" Barnie catches the wince I do after I hit the glass back onto the counter.

"School sucks." I tell him. Brenda sucks too.

If it weren't for Jack I wouldn't even go to the damn place, but he forces me to go.

I wait as Barnie fills my glass up again, when he slides it my way I head over to the pool table. Ready to take on any newcomers for a game.

"You playing?" Some guy in a leather jacket asks me, he's twice my size most definitely over the age of 20 but I don't back down from any challenge.

I nod, he may beat me but I've gotten better at playing.

He breaks and the game begins after he sinks two solid balls and I down the rest of my glass.

**Brenda**

Why do I always end up in a mall with these two?

My eyes skim over the price of the dress Kelly just dismissed, 1,500 dollars for a dress. Nothing special about it, just pretty fabric. Jeez. Instead, now Kelly's attention is on an even more expensive dress 5,000 dollars to be exact. Yes I'll admit this dress is more elegant with it's diamonds on the neckline, yes real diamonds but why spend so much money for a dress? She has tons of them I've seen her closet about 2 times now.

"Kelly why do you buy more dresses when you have so many to choose from at home?" I ask her while she tries on the dress in the dressing rooms.

"Brenda, I know back at your hometown you probably didn't shop much but trust me give it time you'll see what's so fun about buying new clothes." I was going to ignore the sting I felt at those words and really ponder on her statement.

Was getting new clothes fun? I've gotten new clothes before I moved here never seemed to be that exciting. It's just so Beverly Hills I guess.

Donna joined me now, some shirts and other forms of clothing in her arms. "Brenda you're not going to buy anything?"

She waited for my response while she entered the dressing room right next to Kelly's.

"Donna somehow I don't find the need to." I tell her my tone bland. She shrugs her shoulders before closing the door to her dressing room.

Man were me and those two different. I know we were raised by different parents and in different worlds but wasn't there more to life than shopping? I know for me there is.

I love the beach, the feeling of hot sand on my toes. The salty water that's not so nice to my hair but fun to dive into. Laying to get a sun tan, the toasty sun on my skin. Careful to wear enough sunscreen or I'll be a burning tomato. That's life, that is a good time. Not spending hours among hours in stores.

I'm glad when we walk out of the mall an hour later. My demands of needing to get back home, if it were for them we would still be stuck there.

I make a mental note to have an excuse handy for the next time they offer for me to come with them. I need a break from shopping, at least two weeks.

Kelly drops me off and I'm glad to be back at home and no longer in room full of clothes and mannequins.

"Hey Bren, have fun with your new friends?" Brandon asks smiling from ear to ear, his green pupils glistening. It feels he's mocking me almost.

I push past him. "Yeah a real blast."

"What's her problem?" I hear him ask Dad as I stomp up the stairs to my room.

Wouldn't he like to know, how my friends always want to shop and nothing else. To my surprise he does want to know because a few minutes later he's in my room and takes a seat next to me on my bed as I stare at my dresser.

"What's wrong Bren?" He asks in a soothing voice that he always has when he's genuinely concerned.

"I just think there's more to this place than shopping, but that's all Donna and Kelly ever want to do. I just don't get it." I fold my arms after looking him in the eyes pouring out all my frustrations.

"Brenda they're your friends, they have different interests than you do. I know something that you like to do that they do too." He's hugging me now, but he pulls away to look at me making me wonder what is this thing that I like to do with them.

"What?" I ask intrigued.

"Gossip," he laughs and I push him smiling a bit too.

"Trust me Bren you'll see there's more to them than just Beverly Hills." He says his head resting on my shoulder as he hugs me.

I trust his word, I really like Kelly and Donna so I'll wait to see what they're really about.

Our sibling moment is cut short by the ringing of the phone. Brandon pulls away to answer it. I start to pet my stuffed animal Mr. Pony.

"Yeah I'll be right there," Brandon's voice is alarming making me look at him worried at what that phone call was about.

"I gotta go Bren," He says but I stand up just as he's about to leave my room.

"Hold on Brandon who was that?" I ask pulling him to stop I see his expression and I need to know who or what that phone call was about.

"Brenda I can't waste time, it's Dylan he's wasted again." He runs a hand through his hair.

"I'm coming with you." I tell him and before he protest I grab my shoes and quickly put them on.

Brandon is smart in not arguing with me and were walking down the stairs only to meet our parents.

"And where do you two think your going in such a rush." Dad asks as we meet them by the door. Mom is looking at us questionably as well. Wasting precious minutes.

"Mom, Dad we'll be right back okay we just need to buy something really fast before it sales out," I say, it was the first thing that could come to my mind for them to believe us in time.

"Yeah we'll be right back. Twenty minutes." Brandon adds and he opens the door for me to make a run for the car.

"If that." I yell before the door is closed behind us.

I don't know how we got away with that but it's good we did. Now to rescue Dylan. He really needs to stop drinking. I also need to apologize, I'll use this time to do so. Then tomorrow I can tell him again so he will remember my apology.

"So what happened? Did you talk to Dylan?" I ask Brandon now that were seated in the car and on our way to who knows where.

"Kind of, he was incoherent but then someone else got on the phone and said that Dylan needed a ride home and that he was pretty wasted. They gave me the address before we hung up, he's at a bar." And it doesn't shock me, I just wondered why Dylan drank so much.

The rest of the ride was silent, we were both worried about Dylan for reasons I couldn't understand. We barely met him a few days ago and now we're trying to find him so he doesn't hurt himself or anyone else.

We arrived and I immediately smelled the alcohol from some bikers that stood outside.

"Brenda I'll be right back." Brandon started to open his door.

"No Brandon let me get him."

"Are you crazy Bren, no."

"Brandon please, I need to talk to him."

"Brenda he's not happy with you from the last time I don't think he even wants to see you, besides I'm not letting you go by yourself."

"Don't you think I know that? I messed up okay. I want to apologize to him just keep watch from the car I'll be fast." I warn him before stepping out without another refusal from him.

"Be careful," I hear him say behind me and I go inside.

The smoke aroma instantly hits my nose as I walk inside the smoke filled bar. I look all around me taking in my surroundings. Jukebox music plays in the background and a couple is dancing sloppily. I pick up the sound of pool balls hitting each other and loud cheering.

This place is awful.

I see no sign of Dylan anywhere and then I go to the counter.

"Is Dylan here?" I yell over the music to the bartender. At the sound of his name the guy signals me to follow him.

I do and he meets me outside of the counter away from the crowds of people but were still inside.

"He's outside. He needs to get home." He tells me and I nod.

"Thank you," I say before I run towards the door and finally make it away from the foggy smoke filled place.

I run over to Brandon to let him know that he's outside. Then we both go to look for him. I still want to get to Dylan first so I can tell him how sorry I am. So I stay ahead of Brandon.

We go down the alley next to the bar and after a few steps we see a figure or two figures. As we get closer I make them out to be Dylan but he's making out with a girl. The girl is all over him, she has a leg on his waist and he's caressing her.

The sight makes me forget the apology I so badly wanted to give him. Our presence is known after Brandon clears his throat, and I look away when Dylan breaks away from the make out sesh to meet our eyes.

"What are you doing here?" His question is directed at me, I can hear it in his tone. He's still mad at me, well that makes two of us.

"I came to apologize but it's clear you don't need it." I say looking at him now with disgust. The girl is just on him still kissing his neck unfazed by us being here as their audience.

"You're right I don't." He says his eyes squinted and his voice slurred.

I can't tell if he's drunk or turned on by the girl still kissing on him.

"Come on Dylan let's go I'll take you to Bel Age." Brandon says now interrupting our dispute. And I wish I was at home now instead of here.


	7. somber eyes

**I'm soooo sorry I haven't posted I got a new job and I was trying to get the hang of it before I continued writing because when I write it takes up my time, which I'm very thankful for but I needed to relax on the days I wasn't working cause this new job is hectic, but I've gotten somewhat used to it now so I think I'll be okay now and can come back to writing when I can. Anyways hope you like this chapter I really like it! Please let me know if it's any good.**

**Brenda**

I stormed off to the car before Dylan has the chance to let that slut know he was leaving, and that her services were going to be cut short. What I was trying to figure out was why did I care so much that they were making out in the first place. Dylan McKay is just about another face in the crowd at school as the next guy, he just happens to keep involving himself into my brothers life which I'm such a big part of as well. Twin thing.

This night quickly turned sour as soon as I saw him, should have known. Drunk Dylan complements problems, why I thought apologizing when he was drunk was a good time was beyond me now. I could leave right now, I had the keys since I stormed off after snatching them from Brandon's hands. Make Dylan walk or find some other form of transportation. Leave him to suffer, if only I wasn't terrified of driving and had a license. Maybe then I wouldn't be the one suffering while Brandon and Dylan finally make it to the car.

"You remember the way don't you Brandon?" Dylan says as he takes a seat in the passenger. My eyes flicker from him to Brandon from the backseat as Brandon puts on his seatbelt.

"Yeah I remember, it's not too far from here."

"Then why couldn't he just walk?" Dylan shakes his head at my remark and I see an amazed smirk forming on his face. Yes Dylan let me amuse you some more.

"Bren, cool it." Brandon is looking at me like Dad would if I was pushing his patience, which I know I am but I'm pissed. I'm tired of drunk Dylan McKay.

A silence filled the car for a moment before a thought that haven't left my mind since I met Dylan McKay slipped out of my mouth.

"Dylan why do you drink so much?" It was a sincere question, I wasn't trying to offend him in any way but when I felt the car come to a sudden stop, no stop sign or stop light in sight. That's when I knew I said the wrong thing at the most awful time.

"Brenda." I can't even open my eyes to look at Brandon's scowl. My face grimaces.

"I know. I'm sorry, I really am I wasn't trying to be offensive. I just want to know if he's okay." And I really mean it even if Dylan doesn't believe me right now.

"Save it for someone who cares." Dylan tells me without even looking at me, his eyes are focused out the window.

I really know how to make a situation go from bad to worse.

The Bel Age hotel was huge, from what I could see on the outside. Obviously I knew he would be staying in a nice place, it's Beverly Hills everyone I've met here lives in nice places.

"Thanks man," Dylan says now and I suddenly have a rush to speak.

"I'll walk you."

Dylan met my eyes as soon as I said it instantly making me want to take it back, I could see he wanted anything but that.

"Please, I want to make sure you get to your room okay." I tell him looking into his brown eyes that are intimidating me so much but I stand my ground. It's the least I could do for the inappropriateness I've caused tonight.

"I don't need help getting to my room Brenda." Dylan says as he gets out of the car.

So I get out too, he can't refuse me if I just do it myself.

He notices and rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything as I walk alongside him now.

Inside it looks so pretty with the chandeliers and nice furniture in the lobby. This is definitely somewhere I couldn't afford to stay.

Dylan is trying to keep his walk steady but I can see him stumble so I help him by holding onto his side as we make it to the elevators. I can smell the alcohol on him and it makes me scrunch my nose a little but I try my best to ignore it.

"I fucking hate these things." I hear Dylan say as we walk inside the elevator.

"We can take the stairs." I tell him wanting him to be comfortable.

"No," so the doors to the elevator close in front of us.

He leans into me more when the elevator starts to move causing more movements in my stomach. I'm hoping he doesn't hurl all over me, being drunk in an elevator can't be good. I'm smelling the faint hint of his cologne when the elevator comes to a stop and the doors slide open along with the bing announcing we've arrived.

We get out of the elevator and walked to his room, once we reach his door he looks at me. He still has his arm around me for support. Looking into his eyes makes me feel helpless like he's looking for answers. I don't have the answers, whichever ones he's looking for.

I turn away, but am suddenly pulled back to face him. What I didn't expect was his lips crashing into mine abruptly. Then we're kissing, it's messy, confusing, and urgent. I'm not sure why but I nourish for a bit, devouring the moment. His lips were clammy, our lips slipping off each other. A sliver of a thought creeps into my mind about earlier, an hour before right now. It's a thought that overtakes this moment and I push him away.

"I'm just another girl to conquer huh? You just made out with that girl an hour ago and you want to kiss anyone you can." Tears threaten to appear but I manage to subside them he's not worth a single tear. Not that he will remember any of this tomorrow. Jerk.

I'm tempted to slap him hard, but I hold back and decide to walk away.

He doesn't stop me or say anything.

**Dylan**

I just had to know what her lips felt like. Brenda's lips were soft, like a cushion for mine to rest on. I kissed her because she hasn't left my mind since I've met her, unlike every other girl I know. Her presence in my mind made me kiss her, I needed to know why she hasn't left my mind. All her rude remarks left an imprint on me for a reason I can't explain. Why am I spending time on a girl that clearly thinks the worst of me?

I let her walk away, let her think what she wants because I am not about to tell her my true thoughts.

My room is a mess, liquor bottles litter my table. I pick them up and toss them in the trash. Glad Jack isn't here annoying me. He's probably at a bar or doing 'work' business.

Once I get in bed I instantly feel sleep coming and I let it consume me whole.

**Brenda**

The kiss me and Dylan shared last night doesn't leave my mind all day, and even more so in the class I share with said Dylan. I take glances at him and every time I do he's staring back at me. Those sad mesmerizing eyes, they draw me in when what I want most is to look away. He lets me wonder what's behind those sad eyes.

I have a desire to go talk to him but at the same time I think it won't be a good idea to do so. And I don't. I try my best to ignore the need to know if he remembers any of last night, of our kiss.

It'll stay a mystery.


	8. playmate

**Hi, sorry another long break between chapters. Bare with me this happens every so often I lose inspiration and motivation the will to write completely vanishes and I suffer from not knowing where to take the next chapters. But at last here I am with a new chapter, also I only get 2 days off a week from work so I'm very lazy to make myself want to write on my days off, but I will try to find the time to write. I need to finish this story, I want to make this an example for myself to finish what I start so I can make it a habit for my new stories. Anyways on with the chapter none of yall want me to keep ranting on about nonsense.**

**P.S very important note, this chapter and the next one will be the only Kelly and Dylan scenes. I just really wanted everyone to know that so don't come for me!**

**Brenda**

"Hey Dylan," Kelly says smiling her brightest smile. If I wouldn't have known better I would think she has a crush on him, my thoughts are suddenly confirmed as I see her bat her lashes at him when he joins us at a table.

Sitting right next to her and right in front of me, a smirk resting on his face as his eyes landed on mine.

What was he doing?

He's been saying hi to me in the hallways ever since the kiss, that kiss was a week ago now. That night was mostly a blur now, the one thing that remains in my brain is the need in that kiss. And the fact that he most likely doesn't remember it, but why would he talk to me like I haven't been a bitch to him all this time.

"Hey Kelly, Brenda." He greets smugly with that slight smile he always pulls.

"So whatcha doing this weekend?" Kelly asks him, his eyes avert from mine to hers.

Her hand rests on her chin, she has the flirty grin plastered on her face. This is news to me. I had no clue she liked Dylan.

"Riding the waves, you girls have plans this weekend?" He asks looking from Kelly to me.

"I'm not doing anything." Kelly is quick to say, I could barf.

"Wanna join me ladies?" Dylan now says.

"I don't know how to surf." I respond too fast, the fact I don't want to go is now so obviously floating in the air around us. Dylan, Kelly and me? No thanks, just sitting here while she giggles and oogles over him is enough to make me get up right now and leave.

"I'll come." Kelly says too eager.

Dylan looks at me briefly before focusing on Kelly now. "See you there."

He then leaves our table without even giving me a second glance.

What was that about?

I haven't told Kelly or Donna about the kiss, and I definitely was not going to tell them now. Besides it didn't mean anything to either of us, right? I mean he's going on about his days without really indicating he thinks of our kiss as much as I have.

Crap.

I wanted, no needed, to know if he remembered our kiss.

"Brenda?" Kelly asks me bringing me out of my Dylan thoughts.

"Hm?" I ask so out of it.

"Where did you go? You like blanked out there."

I did blank out, but she did not need to know why or who was the culprit.

"Just thinking about a crush I had at my old school." I laugh it off.

"Ooohhh what was he like?" Kelly is drawn in my lie.

I give her vague details about my actual old crush from Minnesota, Drew. He was one of the popular guys at my school but was single, I wanted him bad. He seemed in my league and I always imagined being with him, I even tried getting close to him and it was working until I moved here.

"So wait you were really close to getting with him before you had to move?" Kelly looks at me with curiosity.

"Yes, I really felt like I was closer to him but now I'm here." I sighed, Drew was very cute.

"So, you shouldn't let you living here stop you. You should try to get back in touch with him, he could come visit you or you go visit him sometimes." She suggests.

"I'm sure he's forgotten all about me." I laugh off, the idea is ridiculous.

"No really, you shouldn't give up Brenda you never know if he was really starting to dig you too."

And I didn't know but I wasn't sure if I wanted to know either.

**Dylan**

Did it work? I think so, I left without looking at her once that had to have drove her crazy. She will want to come surfing now definitely.

Kelly was an easy target, perfect actually. I've known she's been crushing on me since middle school. I don't have eyes for blondes really they're pretty bland actually. Especially if they live in Beverly Hills, they're all the same.

I just had to plant the bait and Kelly reeled right in front of Brenda's eyes. Invite them both so either way Brenda will see Kelly's adoration for me. I had a plan in mind, I just needed to see if Brandon was cool with it.

"Yeah, that's cool with me. Might want to watch out for my father though." Brandon finishes after I've asked for permission to take Brenda to the beach. Right her father, that's an obstacle in the way.

"Why do you want to take her surfing? Don't you two hate each other?" Brandon asks me now wearing a confused look on his face.

"I want to make amends with her, strictly casual friends going to the beach." I say making hand gestures to convince him.

He's convinced enough as he doesn't say anything else on the matter and the bell sounds right in time for me to go home and think of what I was going to do about Brenda's father.


End file.
